Little Johnny 👦

304

The teacher asks everyone in the class to demonstrate something exciting. When Johnny's turn came, he walked to the blackboard and drew a small dot. - "What is that?" - "It is a period." - "Well, I see that, but what is exciting about a period?" - "Damned if I knew, but this morning my sister said she missed one. Dad had a heart attack, mom fainted and the guy next door shot himself."

303

The theacer stopped to reprove Johnny for making faces: - "Johnny, when I was small, my mother used to tell me that if I made ugly face , it would freeze and stay like that." - "Well, Ms., you can't say you weren't forewarned."

200

The Bio teacher draws a huge penis on the board and asks: - ☺ "Does anybody know what this is?" Little Johnny says: - 😃 "Oh, it's a penis and you know my dad's got two of them?" - 😮 "Two of them?" - 😄 "Ya! The little one he uses to pee, and the big one to brush mum's teeth."

185

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his fifth grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. - "Now, class, observe the worms closely." Said the professor as he put the first worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. - "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" The professor asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and, wisely, responded: - "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

139

So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says: - "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." - "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess: - "Blue." - "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. - "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: - "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

46

The teacher says: - "Who answers my next question, can go home." Little Johnny throws his bag out the window. - "Who threw that?" - "Me, and I’m going home now."

36

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher asked him a question: - "If there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" - "None, cause the rest would fly away." - "Well, the answer is four, but I like the way you're thinking." Later Little Johnny says: - "I have a question for you. If there are three women eating ice cream cones and one is licking it, the second is biting it and the third is sucking it, which one is married?" - "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." - "No, the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

35

The teacher says to the class: - 😏 "Whoever stands up is stupid." Nobody stands up. - 😏 "I said whoever stands up is stupid!" 👦 Little Johnny stands up. - 😐 "Johnny, do you really think you are stupid?" - 😂 "No Mrs, I just didn't want you to feel lonely being the only one standing."

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