Why do Jews have big noses? Because the air is free.
Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward? They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.
An old, old man goes into a confessional: - "Father, I'm not sure where to start." - "Well, what do I need to know?" - "Father, last night I was having a drink, alone, at the bar, and I told the bartender it was my birthday, but I was all alone. Right then, a beautiful, sweet, 18-year-old blonde came up and said I shouldn't be alone on my birthday. She insisted on buying me a drink and then insisted on taking me back to her apartment, where she introduced me to her gorgeous red-headed best friend. Well, one thing led to another, and we had all sex all night long." - "Well, that's pretty bad, but I can understand. Say five Hail Mary's and two Our Father's, and don't do it again." - "I don't know those, I'm Jewish." - "Then why are you telling me?" - "I'm telling everybody!"